Marriage and Relationship Coaching for the Long Haul
Do you want more from your relationship? More intimacy, better sex, deeper connection?
You are not alone! I've been there, and so have most of the people I work with.
I'm Kirby. I’m a somatic sex and relationship coach. I help people develop the emotional and interpersonal skills they need to thrive in relationships.
When I got married, I was just following a script. I didn't know what emotional intimacy really entailed, and I expected marriage, kids, and aging to lead to the inevitable decline of physical intimacy.
That's not what happened. Instead, marriage has taught me that relationships can blossom and thrive over the long term. I've learned that relationship skills can be built from the ground up, and that intractable challenges can form foundations for growth.
This transformation has been so profound that I decided to build a new career helping others improve their own relationships. I trained with the Somatica® Institute and became certified by the American Board of Sexology.
Now I work with individuals and couples to navigate relationship challenges and find their unique path to deeper intimacy—emotionally, physically, and for the long haul. If you're ready to stop following someone else's script and start writing your own story, I'd love to help.
When we are skilled at relationships, the benefits radiate throughout our lives. We are more confident and integrated. We are happier and healthier. We become better versions of ourselves, and we model that to our children.
Who is somatic sex and relationship coaching for?
Anyone seeking deeper intimacy and more fulfilling relationships.
You don't have to be married, monogamous, or even in a relationship to benefit from coaching. Whether you're single and want to prepare for future relationships, dating and navigating new connections, or partnered and looking to deepen what you have—coaching can help you build the skills and self-awareness you need to thrive.
What Brings People to Coaching?
Some people come to coaching when they're facing clear challenges: lack of emotional or physical intimacy, mismatched desires, communication breakdowns, sexual concerns, conflict, or the aftermath of infidelity. These are real struggles that coaching can help you navigate.
Others arrive with something more difficult to name. Maybe there's a quiet dissatisfaction or a sense that something is missing. Perhaps your assumptions, values, or desires have shifted over time and you're no longer sure you and your partner are aligned. You might feel a longing for something more but struggle to articulate what that "more" actually is. This uncertainty is just as valid a reason to seek support.
Still others come to coaching not because something is wrong, but because they want to invest in what's right. They recognize that relationship skills can be learned and improved, and they're ready to do that work.
All Relationships Are Welcome
I work with individuals and couples across the full spectrum of relationship structures. Whether you're monogamous, consensually non-monogamous, exploring new possibilities, or figuring out what works for you—you're welcome here. My role isn't to prescribe what your relationship should look like, but to help you create relationships that align with your values and meet your needs.
In an ideal world, we'd all enter relationships with the education and skills we need to succeed. Since that's rarely the case, coaching offers a space to learn what you didn't get the chance to learn before—without judgment, and with plenty of curiosity.
If any of this resonates with you, let's talk.
Through relationships with others, we learn about ourselves. To get the most from our relationships, we have to become our best selves.
What are the benefits of coaching?
Coaching helps you build the self awareness, emotional skills, and interpersonal skills that are essential for thriving relationships.
Self-Regulation and Emotional Intelligence
Learn to recognize and regulate your emotions rather than being driven by unconscious reactions. This means fewer destructive conflicts and more conscious choices that bring you closer to what you want.
Freedom from Shame
Identify and overcome the shame that keeps you stuck, silent, and disconnected. Replace limiting stories about your body, desires, and sexuality with narratives that serve you.
Deeper Intimacy
Develop skills like embodiment, empathy, attunement, presence, and communication. These abilities translate directly into stronger emotional and physical connection with your partner.
Greater Confidence
Understand what you truly want and gain the confidence to ask for it. Stop second-guessing yourself and start showing up fully in your relationships.
Lasting Change
The skills you develop in coaching don't just fix immediate problems—they transform how you relate to yourself and others for the rest of your life.
A Safe Space
Coaching provides something rare: a judgment-free environment where you can explore your desires, address your fears, and practice new ways of being. This is where real growth happens.
The work requires courage and commitment. I'll provide guidance and support—but the transformation is yours to create. If you're ready to invest in yourself and your relationships, the benefits will be far-reaching and long-lasting.
Are you ready to level up and create the relationships that you truly desire?
How does somatic sex and relationship coaching work?
What "Somatic" Means
Somatic means body-based. Emotions aren't just thoughts in your head—they're sensations in your body. A strong emotion might bring tears to your eyes or a knot to your stomach. Your heart might flutter, your spine tingle, or your face flush hot and red. These physical sensations are somatic responses, and they carry important information about what you're experiencing.
The Coaching Relationship
Somatic coaching creates a collaborative relationship between equals. Rather than one person having all the answers, we work together to explore what's happening in your body and emotions. The coaching relationship itself becomes a safe container where you can practice the skills you need—skills like setting boundaries, expressing desires, managing conflict, and staying present with discomfort.
Learning by Doing
We don't learn to ride a bike by talking about it—we learn by doing it. The same is true for relationship skills. Many people find that simply talking about their issues keeps them stuck in their heads. Somatic coaching gets you out of your head and into your body, where emotions actually live.
Sessions combine conversation with experiential practices and exercises designed to help you become more embodied and aware. You might explore breathing techniques, movement, voice work, or guided awareness exercises. Everything we do respects your boundaries and comfort level—in fact, practicing consent and boundary-setting is a core part of the work itself.
Try It Right Now
If you've read this far, you may have had some emotional reaction to what I've written. Maybe the word "sex" made you blush. Maybe the whole idea of sex and relationship coaching makes you squirm, cringe, or feel intrigued. Maybe it quickens your pulse or sparks your curiosity.
Take a moment to tune in to your body. What sensations are you noticing? Where do you feel them? What might these feelings be telling you about yourself, your desires, or your fears?
This is somatic awareness—and it's the foundation of the work we do together.