What Can I Expect to Get Out of Coaching?

What is it that you want?

Desire is such a powerful motivator, yet so many of us struggle to know what we truly want—much less how to get it.

Intimacy and sexuality can be the most difficult aspects of our personal development. Most of us haven't had the best teachers or role models. Instead, we've been shamed for our desires and taught that sex is not to be discussed openly. Through media and marketing, we've absorbed the message that our imperfect bodies make us unworthy of love and pleasure. Coaching can help us overcome shame and limiting beliefs and develop the knowledge and skills we need to thrive in relationships.

Building Essential Relationship Skills

Relationships require skill, and skills can be learned. The coaching relationship creates a safe environment in which to learn and practice emotional and interpersonal skills like self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, attunement, presence, and confidence. Improving these abilities leads you into deeper intimacy with your partner, both emotionally and physically.

From Emotional Reaction to Emotional Intelligence

Coaching often starts by helping people build a foundation of emotional self-awareness and self-regulation. Rather than allowing emotions to drive us into unconscious and habitual reactions that often make our problems worse, we can learn to regulate our emotions and consciously choose responses that move us closer to what we want.

With good emotional self-regulation comes emotional empowerment—the ability to understand what our emotions are telling us about ourselves and to use that information to create the life and relationships we truly desire. Pleasure and joy show us where to look for what we want, while fear and shame often point to places where we're stuck in unproductive patterns.

Overcoming Shame

One of the most important aspects of coaching is addressing shame. Shame impacts all of us to one degree or another. It is at the root of nearly all of our struggles with intimacy and sexuality, and it's why so many people choose a life of silent suffering rather than seeking help.

Overcoming my own shame has been the crux of building a career as a sex and relationship coach. I learned early in life that sex is not to be discussed openly. Today, I still struggle to talk publicly about what I do as a sex and relationship coach. Coaching will help you identify the ways shame is holding you back and give you tools to move through it.

Rewriting Your Story

Coaching can help us reframe and replace negative social conditioning about pleasure, sex, and our bodies. The stories we've been told—and the stories we tell ourselves—have a profound impact on our emotional state, how we understand ourselves, and how we relate to others. We can discard stories that don't serve our interests and choose to live by stories that do. Maybe you’re a man who has absorbed the idea that your desire is dangerous and that masculinity is toxic, or you are a woman who believes that you are not entitled to desire and pleasure. Coaching helps you examine whether these stories are true, and where they came from in the first place.

Meaning and Purpose

Relationships give our lives meaning and purpose. The benefits of great relationships radiate through every aspect of our lives. When we're skilled at relationships, we're more confident and integrated. We're happier and healthier. We become better versions of ourselves, and we model that to our children.

If you have the courage to take the first step and get in touch with me, the benefits of coaching could be far-reaching and long-lasting.