Hope in a Hopeless World
“The salvation of this human world is nowhere to be found except in the human heart.”
-Vaclav Havel
We are becoming increasingly anti-social
In the age of information, misinformation runs amok; truth is infused with lies, and lies are infused with truth. The impacts of social media are increasingly anti-social, and artificial intelligence is expanding into the void left by wisdom's decline. We go online seeking validation only to find our faulty thinking amplified by algorithms. We go online seeking community only to find ourselves more lonely and depressed. The internet was sold to us as a great democratizing force. The enchantment of it blinded us to the fact that technologies of this scale only exist if they serve the interests of those in power. Everything has become an inversion of the way in which it was supposed to make our lives better. Even the remote start on my wife's new car causes the battery to go dead so that the car won't start.
The digitization of human relationships and communities seems like a sure path to dystopia. In spite of the dopamine reward we get from it, putting more of our relationships online ultimately isolates us and makes us susceptible to manipulation. I hate that I've captured your attention through the medium of a screen. I'd rather meet you in person. I'm interested in the real world, the living world, and the human place within it. I'm interested in human relationships.
Virtual communities will not suffice to get us through the very real storms of a changing climate and collapsing ecosystem. Humans don't thrive in isolation. We are possibly the most socially dependent creatures on the planet. Communities are the basic unit of human survival. At this moment in our history, our ability to relate to one another seems at a low ebb. Divisiveness is the political currency of the day, but it's not just the political class doing the division. With the help of the internet, we divide ourselves into ever smaller and more insular identities. In so doing, we hand our power to the forces of our destruction. Isolation, manipulation, and surveillance have become the raison d'etre of the digital revolution. Posting these ideas online is my attempt to infuse my truth into the vast matrix of lies and manipulation that we currently inhabit.
The human capacity for connection is where I find hope.
This is why I became a sex and relationship coach. In the face of all the vexing problems facing us, I don't think we stand a chance unless we address the disintegration of human connection and community in the real world. I want to continue living and loving on this beautiful planet. I want my kids to have the opportunity to do the same. If we cannot thrive in our intimate relationships, how can we possibly rebuild the communities we will need for the future?
Helping people overcome shame, rediscover desire, and build authentic intimacy isn't just about better relationships—it's about reclaiming our power. It’s about reclaiming our capacity for genuine human connection and building the foundation for the communities we'll need. My work is an act of resistance against an all encompassing technological system that feeds on human isolation. It's my way of trying to make the world a better place, one honest conversation at a time.
